When Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?

Last updated on October 30th, 2023 at 12:13 am

Rocky times are common during the course of a marriage, but at what point do you begin talking to a professional? Odds are, it's earlier than you think.

Marriage Counseling is a proven method for helping married couples deal with relationship issues[1]. That being said, both partners must be willing to do the work.

Many times, couples attend counseling after they’ve already decided it’s over. Therapy only comes in as a way to justify it by saying they “tried” to make it work.

In addition, many couples, even those who truly want the relationship to work, wait until it’s too late to begin counseling or fail to grasp how marriage counseling even works.

So, what are some of the signs that your relationship could use counseling? For those couples who truly want their marriage to last, recognizing the need for marriage counseling early is critical.

Let’s talk about a few of the big signs.

Young couple having marriage counselling

You Don’t Talk to Each Other

You don’t have to be a marriage counselor to know that communication is the key to any healthy relationship. A counselor can help root out why you’re not communicating and offer suggestions.

Other communication issues could include constant negativity[2]. Couples are supposed to build each other up, not break each other down. If you find that you or your partner never seem to have anything positive to say about each other, it’s definitely time to see a marriage counselor.

You Avoid Each Other

It’s not uncommon for a married couple to have their own individual spaces in the home. All humans need their personal space, even married ones. There are limits, however.

Does your husband roll away to his man-cave as soon as you’re within talking distance? Does your wife always seem to schedule “girls’ night out” on the one evening you usually get home from work early?

These are the types of signs that someone (or both of you) is avoiding contact in the relationship.

Marriage counseling can help root out the cause of partner avoidance behaviors.

Stressed couple arguing and having marriage problems

Your Sex Life Has Changed Drastically

It’s totally normal for sex to slow down after the ‘newness’ of a relationship has worn off. But a sudden change (more sex or less sex) can indicate a problem.

For marriage counselors, this may be one of the first questions they’ll ask about. It’s pretty much the universal indicator of a relationship issue.

You Hide Things from Each Other

There are 2 reasons why people hide things from each other. Either they hide something because they know they’re doing something inappropriate, or they hide it because they know their partner will overreact to something that should be no big deal.

In either case, a counselor can provide insight into the root cause of these behaviors.

Special concerns would be financial infidelity – hiding money from each other is a major sign of problems and usually requires outside help.

Marriage Counseling: Final Thoughts

Marriage counseling or couples therapy can be a great way to get your relationship back on track. But it’s probably not going to be a cakewalk.

The success of any relationship requires those involved to be dedicated to doing what needs to be done.

You must enter your marriage counseling journey as a team and be prepared to be uncomfortable. Expect both you and your partner to have to make changes in the way you think & behave.

It might sound tough, but your marriage should be worth it.

Sources & Additional Reading

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

1. GuideDoc: Does Marriage Counseling Work? 10 Surprising Statistics and Facts

2. Huffington Post: 13 Signs You Need to Visit a Marriage Counselor

3. PsychCentral: 7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

4. BetterHelp: How Does Marriage Counseling Work for You and Your Relationship?

5. Verywell Mind: How to Know if You Need Marriage Counseling

Writer & Blogger

I'm an aspiring writer from Santa Monica, CA who writes about a little bit of everything. I love paranormal stuff, working out, nature, wildlife, and general humor.

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