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Relationships determine much of our success in life. We all need the cooperation of people around us to be successful in what we do. As we conduct our daily activities, we meet special people. And sometimes, we end up falling in love with them.
Love is one of the strongest emotions in the world. It will make you climb mountains, swim rivers, and scale walls. When your relationship is full of love, you are willing to do anything for your partner.
But nothing tests love like time.
Time will be the determining factor of whether you found love or you found lust. Many people mistake love with lust. Love and lust are two very different things. When you love, you are already complete by yourself. You are a person who is happy being alone. As for lust, you are driven by lack. You feel empty and unhappy when you are alone.
Before getting into a relationship…
Before getting into a relationship, it’s important to consider what’s driving you. If you feel like you can’t survive without the other person, you should take a step back and reexamine yourself because you will not find what you are looking for in another person. You are a complete person. You do not need another person to feel happy and fulfilled.
The good news is that you’ll always know if you or your partner is driven by lust. The feeling of lack manifests itself in different forms such as anger, manipulation, and neediness to name a few.
If you truly loved someone and he or she decided to leave, it’s important to keep in mind that love did not hurt you. It’s someone who does not know how to love who hurt you. And it’s better they left early. There is nothing as frustrating as spending the rest of your life with someone who does not love you.
Once the other person leaves you, the relationship ceases to exist. Now you are alone with all your thoughts and emotions doing their own things. The first thing to do is to let go. Now, this can take a while. Letting go is painful. The recovery period is different for everyone. It takes weeks for some and months or even years for others.
You also need to take time and reflect on the things you did right and those that you’ll do differently next time. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is learning from them to avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Here are some of the best and common lessons why you need to let go of past relationships.
1. You Need Time to Recover
You’ve probably seen people who jump from one relationship to another within a short period of time. While it might be fascinating to taste different waters and search for greener pastures, these people run away from themselves. They cannot stand being without someone to cover for their fears and insecurities.
After ending a relationship, you need time to recover. You need time to understand yourself once again. Sometimes, a relationship can be so amazing that we forget who we are. Now is the time to start journaling and meditating. If you feel so lonely, maybe get a new pet – with the understanding that this itself is a new commitment.
Take your mind away from the dead relationship and focus on improving yourself. Get your health back on track. Take your dog for a walk. Jog for a couple of minutes every day. Hit the gym. Start that blog or YouTube channel you’ve been dreaming about.
Get lost in yourself. Once you start understanding yourself, you’ll find it easier to relate with other people. And the good news is you’ll be relating to them because you want to, not because you have a need to be liked by them.
When you refuse to let go, you choose to stay at the bottom. You refuse to use your creativity and strengths. You end up wasting a lot of energy without anything to show for it.
If someone left you, you might find ourselves doing all these positive things to revenge. You’ve heard that the best revenge is success. Well, I have a better one. No revenge is the best revenge. If you are doing everything to revenge, you haven’t truly let go. The day you’ll realize you’ve let go is when you hear the other person’s name and you don’t feel anything.
2. You Need to Reflect
Most people never take their time to reflect. That’s why you’ll find them getting into similar relationships and making the same mistakes all over again. Even if you recover and you don’t take your time to reflect, you’ll notice similar behavioral patterns showing up again.
Ask yourself, “What did I do right?” There are very many things you did well. You called every day, maybe you cooked for your partner, you helped him or her achieve his or her goals or you made sure you went out every Friday night. You can list them on a journal.
Now ask yourself, “What will I do differently next time?” There are a lot of things you can do differently to make your next relationship a perfect one. Maybe it’s time you stopped being needy and become self-reliant and confident or cultivate trust instead of insecurity.
Do not ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” Asking yourself such a question will make your mind focus on the wrong things and that’s a mistake. When you focus on the wrong things, you are likely to repeat them or elongate the recovery period. Forget about the wrong things. Control your mind and emotions through well-structured questions.
3. You Need Time to Understand People
According to bestessays.com.au, for you to understand other people, you need to understand yourself first. How do you understand yourself? By paying attention to your mind, body and emotions. Once you have full control of these three elements, nothing can stop you.
That’s why the recovery process is important. You need to be alone for some time for you to understand yourself. If you are miserable when you are alone, then it means you are in bad company.
Go for a short vacation and spend some time alone. Don’t get into another relationship. If you do, it will be much more disastrous. Take your time and understand why you think the way you think. Maybe you’ve been thinking the wrong things. Why do you feel the way you feel?
What made you get into a relationship in the first place? When you understand yourself, you’ll easily understand other people on a deeper level. You’ll easily know someone who is being driven by lack in his or her life and you’ll avoid them. You’ll also be someone who makes yourself happy. And once you are happy being alone, you’ll attract someone who is also happy being alone.
Letting go has a lot of advantages. Don’t walk around feeling sorry for yourself. The death of a relationship has given you a second chance to discover and redefine yourself. Remember, your resiliency is your advantage.