You’re in love and you’re getting married. Congratulations!
Getting married is a major life event. As such, it’s one that need not be taken lightly.
Once you’re engaged, life changes very quickly. Here are some things you should consider leading up to the wedding.
1. Don’t Forget to Make Time for Each Other
Planning a wedding is a real test for an engaged couple. It sucks a lot of time from, what would otherwise be, a normal life together.
It’s important that you continue to spend quality time together during the period leading up to the wedding.
Getting ready for your wedding can be so time consuming that you forget why you’re getting married in the first place. Stay aware and remain focused on your partner.
2. Be Prepared to Compromise
Wedding planning is stressful and there are plenty of reasons why. It’s almost certain that you and your partner have some different ideas as to what constitutes the perfect wedding. In addition, it’s almost a guarantee that your parents and family will be bombarding you with ideas (or demands) on how they think you should plan your wedding.
It’s a great exercise for your future life together because compromise in a relationship is key.
Don’t avoid compromise by letting your partner get whatever they want. A good friend of mine didn’t want to cause any stress during his wedding and basically told his fiancé she could make all the wedding decisions. While it allowed her to do what she wanted, it also gave her the impression that he didn’t care about the wedding.
Speak up about what you want and be prepared to compromise on it.
3. Getting Married Costs More Than the Initial Quote
Weddings are expensive. No matter what the venue tells you ahead of time, it’s going to cost more. Prepare to spend 25-50% more than the quote on incidental expenses.
It’s not just your reception meal and venue rental. Want rice thrown? Someone has to buy the rice and put it in little packets for all the guests. Every flower, everything on your guests’ tables, including the tablecloths are all part of the bill.
Start saving money for the wedding as soon as you’re engaged (if not sooner). If you’re planning on a long engagement, you can take some of the sting out of the final bill. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to have a separate savings account dedicated to wedding expenses and automatically deposit funds into it from every paycheck.
4. Have Your Honeymoon Planned out Before the Wedding
I know so many married couples who said, “we’re going to figure out the honeymoon after the wedding because planning the wedding is so much work right now.” Know what happened? They never went on a honeymoon at all.
Honeymoons are extremely important. They’re almost a healing event after the stress of getting married.
Remember all those demands from family and parents I mentioned earlier? Well the reality is that the wedding isn’t about you, but the honeymoon is. The wedding planning is all about your guests and if you think that’s not the case, you’re in for a huge surprise.
A honeymoon, on the other hand, is all about you and your partner. It’s time to reaffirm your love and affection for each other after dealing with the stress of getting married.
5. Know Who to Lean on For Help After the Wedding
After everything is said and done, the wedding is finished, and the honeymoon over, it’s important to continue maintaining the health of your relationship.
Your marriage is bound to have some bumpy roads ahead, and sometimes those bumpy roads come really early.
Getting married is a wonderful thing. But the time leading up to the wedding might be some of the biggest challenges you’ll face as a couple.
Being prepared and having a good ‘expectation check’ is the key to making it through without driving you or your spouse crazy.
Sources & Additional Reading:
1. The Everygirl: Why Wedding Planning is so Stressful (and How to Handle It)
2. I Will Teach You to be Rich: Why are weddings so expensive?
3. Huffington Post: Your Honeymoon is More Important Than Your Wedding — Here’s Why